Babies are strong and can tolerate conditions that adults can’t. Whilst there’re excellent evolutionary reasons for newborns of all species to be resilient it’s also humbling and touching to hear about the struggle for life and potent maternal instinct of James and Kate Ogg in Australia.
These kinds of events are hailed as miracles in some cultures and such is the relief and gratefulness of the parents and loved ones that it’s entirely understandable. Then believers come along and perceive it all as an act of their god, something that makes many classical theologians depressed: if their god is wholly simple – that is, unaffected and beyond all we can understand – then how would their god get involved in that world? If that involvement occurs then their god is no longer godlike.
Protestant theology, which perceives the bible as their god and their god as intensely interested in them, disagrees which in fact bears a close relationship to how many Pagans function. Many of us have a personal relationship with our gods and they with us. So what might Paganisms response to the powerful evidence of one child’s will to survive be?
Personally, I don’t believe in miracles but this doesn’t prevent me from experiencing intense interest or from being very moved by James’ struggle and becoming even more convinced of the power of physical touch and physical connection to change destiny. I’m aware of only a few Pagan responses to this story and they’re all based in wonder and joy. In some of the replies there’s just a hint – which I, all good midwives, good neonatal nurses and many mothers share – of “This goes a long way towards further proving that skin-to-skin contact between newborn and mother has enormous consequences.”
(The link works in formatting but not in fact! Take a look at
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/o/cochrane/clsysrev/articles/CD003519/frame.html
Maternal instinct is frequently correct and is sometimes the difference between life and death. Pagans seem to know that as a scientific and beautiful reality rather than as a miracle.
One or two Pagan responses have given me pause. I doubt any would say they believe in miracles, not one has any ill intent behind their comments, none would dream of using this event to proselytise or judge. But they use a language of poetry which bestows numen and a particular weight to what they say. Just as we respond to specialised medical language or the language of advertising so we respond to the language of ‘Karmic connection’ ‘ a holy gift’ ‘the quiet voice that knows truth’ and so on. That’s why the language of ritual is different from mundane language and it’s why I’ve stopped using what I perceive to be the language of mystery outside of ritual.
Because in this case it makes the mothers of dead babies failures. They didn’t have the karmic connection. Why didn’t the Goddess give them the gift of a live child? Despite hours of skin-to-skin contact and yearning and communication they didn’t bring their dead child back to life, perhaps because they didn’t listen hard enough for or were unworthy of the voice of truth. That is clearly not the intent of people who have used the language of mystery to communicate their feelings and it can’t help but have that effect.
Every mother and father that has had a premature or full term stillbirth or neonatal death will be pitched back into stinging grief by this story. Did they do
enough? Did their child have a chance that they didn’t take? Did they put too much trust in their medical team? How were they deficient? There’s no mother of a dead or disabled child who at some point doesn’t ask herself this, even if she knows that the answer is an unambiguous no. It’s only very recently that mothers were allowed to have anything to do with their dead baby. Imagine our mothers, grandmothers, other older women now wondering if they’d only been allowed to hold their baby, what if, what if. Lets not add things to feel dreadful about.
The kind of attention to pain which concerns itself with unknowing and doubt, semi-consciousness and the unconscious, can be approached most effectively through careful and specialised use of the language of mystery, sometimes through formal ritual and sometimes in less formal shifting of awareness. When we listen to and respond to people in pain this cultural language can be useful but it’s not the language of the everyday. This is why priestesses and priests are trained. It can come naturally but it has to be used carefully. Words have power.
I’ve long had a particular bugbear about the careless use of poetic language, language used to change the writers and the readers consciousness and which marks the person who speaks in this manner as seperate from the poor dumb mundanes; it’s become used by every Pagan to describe brushing their teeth. Life can be tough, tedious and banal which is just as important to our human understanding as joy, peak experiences and excitement; arguably more important to get to grips with and understand. Whilst all of creation is sacred and we are sacred beings living sacredly as part of it, we also have to maintain some perspective and keep our knickers on. Getting breathless about canning pears is a tad hysterical. And using the language of ritual casually and habitually can have unintended but horrendous consequences.
http://www.uk-sands.org/
http://www.handonline.org/
http://www.sandsvic.org.au/
http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/14332_1196.asp#head3
Reflections, suggestions, questions on being clergy in a religion with no priesthood.
Showing posts with label Pagan ritual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pagan ritual. Show all posts
Saturday, 28 August 2010
Monday, 23 March 2009
Symbol and Symbolised
Where do consciousness-altering symbolism and twee fluffiness meet? When does restrained representation become unnecessarily frugal? And just how much stuff can one person carry? Being a visiting chaplain means thinking hard about the purpose of ritual accoutrements, not least because they have to be contained within something you can carry without hiring a mule. I’ve spent long, happy hours browsing church supplies websites for inspiration
http://www.standrewschurchsupply.com/catalog/index.php/cPath/328_361?osCsid=7ac75196339238c6c007cf3cadcd9a46
http://www.jmchurchsupplies.co.uk/shopping/?id=9
or search ‘church supplies travel sets.’
O how I would love to walk into the ward with an small chic black handbag which would ping open to reveal a deep blue velvet lining, popup pentagram, a delicate chalice, four tiny beeswax candles, a cut glass cruet filled with mead, and a minute organic loaf. As it is, I have a tiny rather naff basket, some blue glass bottles, a chalice and a white damask napkin. A bread roll fits into the bag alongside the bottles. It’s good enough. The obvious omission is candles.
I can’t decide if these battery-operated candles are hideous or not.
http://www.lakeland.co.uk/F/keyword/battery+candles/product/40083
They’re not candles and yet they offer that moment of attention as each quarter is called, and if the symbolism of the lit candle is that a presence has joined us then does it matter how light is produced? A flame is problematic in any institutional setting; oxygen and other gasses, plastic tubing, flammable linen and ill people – emotionally or otherwise - all being a fire risk. I’ve never worked with candles as a chaplain and personally don’t feel the lack. But patients do. At the very least they’ve read about lighting candles for various purposes and many will have done so. They know that naked flames aren’t allowed and so don’t ask for one, but they’d like one in some cases particularly because it’s not possible.
To date, I’ve not talked about it but just got on with explaining what calling each quarter means, the quarter gets called and later thanked and that’s been fine. Christian chaplains told me about these battery candles and I’ve bought some. When next we do ritual in hospital I’ll suggest we use them and see what people think. You can tell I’m not enthused.
Thursday, 21 August 2008
Ritual for Jennifer

This is the ritual we performed after the death of a patient.
Ceremony for ourselves, and for Jennifer*
We’ll bring together things that will help us talk about how we feel about Jennifer’s sudden death. Things that remind us of her. Things that help us talk about our shock and fear. There may be other stuff that we want to talk about that we think may be too difficult or shameful or fearful to share, but bring them anyway, you won’t be forced to talk.
Together, we’ll create a space for all these things in the centre of what will be our circle, making an altar for ourselves and Jennifer. Then we’ll start the ceremony.
With salt and water we cleanse this place and make it sacred for our gathering.
Let the Goddess make this place Her own and keep it pure.
With this athame I draw the circle around us to protect us from all harm,
and claim this place for the Goddess.
Maiden, with your flowers, bless and hallow this place
and make it sweet for the Goddess and her people.
With sweet smelling incense I make this offering to the Goddess
and to the soul of our sister, Jennifer.
Mother of healing
help us to believe in the
place where wounds can heal.
Mother of weaving,
show us that what has been torn
can be mended.
The worst has happened.
How can we believe in hope again?
Jennifer! Jennifer! Jennifer!
Boatman, ferryman,
She has had a rough crossing.
Carry her gently.
Comfort her, Mother.
In your warm arms of night
rock her to sleep.
And in our distress and disbelief
Mother of healing
Comfort us too.
We’ll sit with the bowl of salt water and take turns to speak our feelings into it. Salt and water are traditional cleansers and they’ll help us shed some of our shock, grief, fear, anger and anything else that is causing us pain.
Then we’ll sit with cups of tea and remember Jennifer, talk with her and with each other until we feel complete.
When we’re ready, we’ll join in blessing Jennifer on her journey.
Blessing of the Elements for Jennifer
May the Air carry your spirit gently
May the Fire release your soul.
May the Water wash you free of sorrow and suffering,
May the Earth receive you.
Be free, be strong, be proud of who you have been,
know that you will be mourned and missed, that no one can replace you,
that you have loved and are beloved.
Move beyond form, flowing like water, feeding on sunlight and moonlight, radiant as stars in the night sky. Pass the Gates, enter the dark without fear returning to the womb of life to rest in the cauldron of rebirth.
Rest, heal, grow whole again. Be Blessed.
We turn to the North:
Goddess of the corn, Giver of food,
we give thanks for the life of Jennifer and ask your blessing on us,
your children.
Turn to the East:
Goddess of the rainbow, Bringer to birth,
we give thanks for the life of Jennifer and ask for your blessing on us,
your children.
Turn to the South:
Goddess of passion, Lady of beauty,
we give thanks for the life of Jennifer and ask for your blessing on us,
your children.
Turn to the West
Goddess of the waters, Bringer of the sleep of death,
open the Gates so that Jennifer may pass through
and begin her journey to the sacred isle.
We give thanks for her birth and accept her death,
for we believe that she is traveling home to the Source of all love,
all peace, all kindness and joy.
Farewell Jennifer.
All repeat: Farewell Jennifer
*
The Closing
I wash away the circle of cleansing and return this place
to the physical plane once more.
I call back the circle of protection and return this place
to the physical plane once more.
I call back the circle of colour and fragrance and return this place
to the physical plane once more.
The ceremony is over.
Let our memories hold what our eyes, ears and hearts have gained.
Blessed be.
* The patients name has been changed.
Sources include
Ashcroft Norwicki D. 1992 The New Book of the Dead Aquarian Press
Budapest Z. 1989 The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries. Wingbow Press
Nightmare M Macha The Pagan Book of Living and Dying 1997 Harper Collins
Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids www.druidry.org/
Image courtesy of Kathryn Huxtable www.kathrynhuxtable.org/
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